... when sperm and egg stubbornly remain apart


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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Just look up

Father’s Day just doesn’t stir up the emotional juice to the same extent that Mother’s Day does. Neither for those celebrating nor for those bemoaning their inability to participate in the way they’d like.

Fathers are admired on Father’s Day.

Mother’s are lionized on Mother’s Day.

Maybe it has something to do with the whole passing the equivalent of an 8-lb. turkey breast to get the whole baby thing going that elevates mothers that much more.

As a mom who paid her dues not in passing a baby in the conventional sense, but rather, in passing immigration and clearing customs, in laboring through paper work and breathing hard for the long-awaited FexEx package from Beijing, the distinction seems a bit inflated to me.

After all, Mother’s Day is a construct; Father’s Day a sort of dessert and coffee to the Mother’s Day brunch and mimosas. By July, we’re ready to push away from the table. A breather until October, when Grandparent’s Day shuffles in, quiet and unassuming, but sweet.

In between, I quite like July 4: the fireworks, the kids, the noise, the community party; everyone is included, no one person or group singled out.

No kid to hold on your shoulders? Just look up. And enjoy the star bursts and the freedom. And let the countdown begin: 3-2-1, or 321 days until Cinco de Mayo, also known as National Infertility Survival Day® 2013.

7:25 pm edt          Comments

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Word on the web: 

"Very funny, brutally honest, on the mark and well written, Barna gave the world a gift when she wrote this book!"

"I have found this book to be very helpful in supporting and dealing with the emotions of my spouse as we go through our IVF journey. The book really helped me understand the delicate emotions of someone experiencing infertility and how comments like "relax", "stop worrying about it", etc. actually do more harm than help. As a result, I am much more supportive in this IVF cycles than I have been in other cycles because I changed the focus of my comments and have avoided saying the wrong thing." 

"I would recommend this book to anyone who is having difficulties getting pregnant, starting treatment, or have been through treatments to read this book. It really helped me. My husband and I went through 1 1/2 years of treatment before taking a break to get back our lives. When we decided to start back TTC after a year of nothing I bought this book and read it cover to cover in one day. It gave me the emotional strength to start over again. We are still in the process but whenever I feel down on myself I just pick the book up (which I keep next to my bed!) and read a few pages it helps me to focus and get my head back to being me and not about the problems! It helped me laugh at the treatments, my husband, and myself again!" 

"A truly excellent book. It is funny, sad, deep, and very touching."




Infertility Sucks! Rocks!
Thanks for visiting. Whether you're a fellow traveler on the road nobody ever wants directions to, or a witness to the human travesty that is infertility, I hope you find warmth, comfort, courage and humor on these cyber pages -- and throughout your longer journey.

All best,
Beverly Barna