I couldn’t agree more
with Jane Brody’s recent New York Times column, “WELL; Personal Health: A Richer Life by Seeing the Glass Half
Full.” She reminds us that much of life’s fortunes ride on our ability to see life through a lens of hope, to
banish our internal naysayers and to forge ahead. Positive cultivates positive. Negative begets bupkis.
From infertility to in-laws, whatever is getting your goat can control you only if you let it. For
that which we can’t control, the response should be: recognize the limitation; do something proactive and positive to
influence a better outcome.
Pursuing IVF and other forms of ART demonstrates such an effort. So does launching a mission to adopt a child. That
is probably why, when these salvos toward sanity fail, our disappointment is so dire. We have done everything we could to
remain hopeful and affect a positive outcome, only to be reminded that we have no control.
We can try. But we cannot make life conform to our
notions of what it should be and when.
This is only one of many pain points for those trying a vain to conceive, carry and carry home a
healthy child. From pregnant to powerless with one bad blood test, one soggy test stick with one lonely blue line, one stranger’s
sudden change of heart that snatches back a bundle of joy from eagerly outstretched arms.
Still, we soldier on. We nudge. We edge forward. We
hope. We try again. We try something new. We ask questions. We find our way. We find our glasses. We fill them with hope.
We drink in life’s mysteries and remind ourselves that all will be replenished, all will be quenched, all will be well.
Man plans and G-d laughs, my
dad used to say. Mann traoch, Gott lauch. Maybe it’s
G-d’s way not of exerting control, but rather, of setting an example. We shouldn’t be so presumptuous. But it’s
okay to keep trying, gingerly, with a certain kind of lightness, with certain hope, and yes, with certain faith.
Remember the word that was powerful enough to land
a certain Asian artist the heart of a Beatle: Yes.