... when sperm and egg stubbornly remain apart


Beverly's Blog

HOMEBeverly's BlogAuthor BiographyBook SummaryNatl Infertility Survival Day and The Daughter of Dreams
Archive Newer | Older

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Got H2O?

I couldn’t agree more with Jane Brody’s recent New York Times column, “WELL; Personal Health: A Richer Life by Seeing the Glass Half Full.” She reminds us that much of life’s fortunes ride on our ability to see life through a lens of hope, to banish our internal naysayers and to forge ahead. Positive cultivates positive. Negative begets bupkis.

From infertility to in-laws, whatever is getting your goat can control you only if you let it. For that which we can’t control, the response should be: recognize the limitation; do something proactive and positive to influence a better outcome.

Pursuing IVF and other forms of ART demonstrates such an effort. So does launching a mission to adopt a child. That is probably why, when these salvos toward sanity fail, our disappointment is so dire. We have done everything we could to remain hopeful and affect a positive outcome, only to be reminded that we have no control.

We can try. But we cannot make life conform to our notions of what it should be and when.

This is only one of many pain points for those trying a vain to conceive, carry and carry home a healthy child. From pregnant to powerless with one bad blood test, one soggy test stick with one lonely blue line, one stranger’s sudden change of heart that snatches back a bundle of joy from eagerly outstretched arms.

Still, we soldier on. We nudge. We edge forward. We hope. We try again. We try something new. We ask questions. We find our way. We find our glasses. We fill them with hope. We drink in life’s mysteries and remind ourselves that all will be replenished, all will be quenched, all will be well. Someday.

Man plans and G-d laughs, my dad used to say. Mann traoch, Gott lauch. Maybe it’s G-d’s way not of exerting control, but rather, of setting an example. We shouldn’t be so presumptuous. But it’s okay to keep trying, gingerly, with a certain kind of lightness, with certain hope, and yes, with certain faith. 

Remember the word that was powerful enough to land a certain Asian artist the heart of a Beatle: Yes.


2:32 pm edt          Comments

Archive Newer | Older

Word on the web: 

"Very funny, brutally honest, on the mark and well written, Barna gave the world a gift when she wrote this book!"

"I have found this book to be very helpful in supporting and dealing with the emotions of my spouse as we go through our IVF journey. The book really helped me understand the delicate emotions of someone experiencing infertility and how comments like "relax", "stop worrying about it", etc. actually do more harm than help. As a result, I am much more supportive in this IVF cycles than I have been in other cycles because I changed the focus of my comments and have avoided saying the wrong thing." 

"I would recommend this book to anyone who is having difficulties getting pregnant, starting treatment, or have been through treatments to read this book. It really helped me. My husband and I went through 1 1/2 years of treatment before taking a break to get back our lives. When we decided to start back TTC after a year of nothing I bought this book and read it cover to cover in one day. It gave me the emotional strength to start over again. We are still in the process but whenever I feel down on myself I just pick the book up (which I keep next to my bed!) and read a few pages it helps me to focus and get my head back to being me and not about the problems! It helped me laugh at the treatments, my husband, and myself again!" 

"A truly excellent book. It is funny, sad, deep, and very touching."




Infertility Sucks! Rocks!
Thanks for visiting. Whether you're a fellow traveler on the road nobody ever wants directions to, or a witness to the human travesty that is infertility, I hope you find warmth, comfort, courage and humor on these cyber pages -- and throughout your longer journey.

All best,
Beverly Barna